If you asked a sheep where it was going would it know? Would the shepherd know where it's going?
I was walking around the lake thanking God for the dirt path around the lake. It's clear to tell where the path goes. It's not straight. If I were to venture off the path I may touch the water, or walk on the thin ice starting to form over the lake. I may take a short cut and walk through the weeds to get home faster. If I get off course or wander there is a way back.
There are a lot of questions we face about what are you doing, why, where are you going, is it the best route. Honestly, it can get overwhelming. Our daughter is considering coming home from college. Taking a breather. We have another son about to graduate. The primary question is where are you going?
I asked Mailee if she would walk around the lake with me so we can pray, because the way that fear and anxiety shows up in us together is a bit of a mess. She expresses fear and I try to control.
What do you do in the face of fear and anxiety?
I try to control. It's my way of saying I'm afraid too. I try to control. It's not effective.
In an effort to get the loud shouts from our own brains and the voices of the peanut gallery out of our heads and recenter I wanted to walk and pray.
You can talk an issue to death.
You can try to control as much as you want.
But, what if you turned the situation over to God together while walking outside in His creation?
As we walked I saw the path, and it came to me… do sheep know where they are going? I don't think so. But, does the shepherd know? Our job is to know the voice of the shepherd.
I think I'm an achiever. I want to have the American dream story where my kids go to the college or university and crush. That would feel real good to my pride. Trying to explain the trail we are on to someone sounds hard. I wish I could explain. My dad used to say, if you have to explain, don't bother.
Here's what I am learning from this so far. God is revealing to me some serious judgments I have about people and college. It actually makes me want to cry, repent, and I feel aware of my sin in judging a person by their academic achievements. Maybe this is one place to say, please forgive me for being such an ass. I'm embarrassed, these thoughts snuck up on me and they are in the light.
God is undoing me. He's reminding me a person is a person. All created equal with minds, emotions, and hearts, made in His image.
Education is a wonderful opportunity. What of the “uneducated” by formal academic rigor? There are a million ways to learn.
This really isn't about education, it's about my heart and mind.
What kind of pressure do you put on yourself or your kids to travel well worn paths? What happens if you or your kid in their unique design take a step in a different direction?
I am asking God with my kids, where are we going? I feel a lot like a sheep. I have no idea. But, we have some great traveling companions. We know the voice of the shepherd. I think if we get off track, the shepherd has a voice to call us, a hook to save us, and a rod to defend us. He knows the way. I don't. I wish I had an answer for you or an answer for me. All I know is the path isn't straight. We are going together. We probably will get off course and need redirecting from time to time. We are trying to lean in and do it all with God, looking for His Kingdom on earth. We hope to love God and love people as we go. Sometimes the hardest person to love is ourself, especially when we feel like lost sheep.
Breathe deep. The good shepherd knows the way. He has your back. He sees what's coming. He knows where you have been. He knows where you are going.
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