Habits To Heal

 

Habits to Heal

Phone a friend. Y'all I had a major melt down this week. I have NO IDEA how the series of things happened, but I freaked out. I went on a last minute trip, when I really needed a week at home. So I started out tired. I witnessed a major trauma trigger. Seeing a kind person, who lacks control. Act… then think. Triggering to me is a major way.  Hard deep conversations.  Major allergy attack…  A lot of new… I have done enough work to know when my reaction doesn't warrant the current situation and that's a trauma response. So, my body freaked… I cried for hours. Processed with a few patient wise humans. I got really honest with my new boss… so that was humbling. I basically quit my first day, then agreed to keep giving it a go… Literally, the worst most embarrassing first week of a new job EVER, solely based on my own behavior!    My healing habit was getting SUPER vulnerable. I'm not sure if that was a good idea or not… I probably have done enough to get fired, just by trying to quit after day 1… so, we will see how it goes.    My second habit to heal is going to be asking for prayer. So, will you pray for me/us. Lots of change here. I'm going to need some wisdom here and some Holy Spirit help to do my jobs with excellence. Please pray for me… I don't know if that was a major attack, or just a super weak moment, or what… but … maybe my conclusion is, I'm still healing. I'm not sure that will ever be complete. I'm going to keep working on it and keep showing up. Grateful for the people who can hold me in my freakout…